Dear Asja,

Please stop composting people's brains with prog metal stuff. They may be suffering. Especially that plump indie girl.

a simple truth

I was always the smallest girl in the class until high school. I also used to hang out a lot with my parents' friends. So I got used to think of myself as of a child, a little father's daughter.
A couple of hours ago I found out that I'm no more a child but a grown woman now. I'm turning twenty in September and I wonder how come that I didn't understand this simple fact before.
Finally when I'm alone in a foreign country, among strangers, plus living in a dorm for the first time in my life, I'm able to realize it. And I'm glad it happened. There must be people who remain little children until the end.

сейчас мне лень соображать по-английски

за последнюю неделю я очень сильно поменялся. (все-таки привычнее говорить о себе в мужском роде)
писать в блоге об этом какбе даже некультурно.
я удалил жежешечку и свою страничку вконтакте. буду писать письма друзьям.
все-таки мое стремление поупражняться в изящной словесности и вывалить кучу говна из своей головы на мнимую аудиторию блога - это какое-то больное желание. невнимание окружающих к себе лучше компенсировать другими способами.
тем более, что есть люди, без которых я не стал бы тем, что я есть. им хочется постоянно говорить "спасибо". и с ними хочется постоянно общаться.

завтра я уезжаю на год в америку. сегодня мы с родителями идем кушать в вегетарианский ресторан "кашмир". папа будет плеваться, наверное. :)
я громко слушаю психоделическую электронщину.
вечером я увижусь с женей. странно думать, что последний раз в этом году.

I'm going to Georgia in several hours.
My so-called American lover is a weird guy.

"Sitting there, faking at the picture of perfection..."

Crap-talk:
My dad is mad at my mom because she wants him to go to the official funeral feast and he doesn't want to.
My mom is mad at my dad because he said nothing about her new dress.
A. is mad at me because our relationship fades out.
I am mad at A. because he is so pathetic about it.
I am also mad at Jenya because he texted me and now I'm thinking again about how he's doing.
Margoth, the organizer of Interzona, also drives me mad (although I don't know her personally). There will be no second Interzona festival.
Id Molotov freaks me out, too, for the same reason.

God, Interzona went off a year ago!

"...Why is everything so needy?"

My grandfather died today. He lived in Moscow so everyone is hurrying up to get the last train ticket. The funeral is on 10th but I'm having an interview at the American consulate the same day so I can't go. I feel bad not about his death but about the rituals they're going to make around his body. He was a really nice old man and he didn't suffer before he died, it was a sudden heart attack.

Commercials as a material

A. and I have an idea for an exhibition.

There is a lot of advertizing nowadays. It's everywhere - on the buildings, in the transport, even in universities. Everywhere. Like a lichen, outdoor advertizing tries to occupy all the space in the cities. For example, if we remove all the ads from NYC, we won't recognize the landscape. There will be a plain broad road and dismal apocalyptic structure. But if we get rid of all the outdoor ads in East Europe, the picture will still be recognizable.

So why couldn't we use the ads not as a means to transmiss information but as a building material?
It's a great idea to build a house from ads, even a model of such a house. To engrave Coca-Cola logos on rice seeds. To carve logos of commercial companies on surfaces that are still not touched by all-penetrating ads.

Of course, it's not an appropriate idea for real life. There would be a lot of suicide accidents if this became real.